Something nice to learn about our young people

We're regularly given the results of yet another gloomy poll, so brace yourselves for an expose on what the young people of Hong Kong are really like.迷利倉 What's coming is not an unpleasant warts-and-all expose reciting a litany of painful relationships between our late teens and early 20s across both sexes. Instead, when it comes to personal relationships, it seems that generally speaking, the young blokes of Hong Kong are rather decent and gentlemenly fellows and the gals are actually quite ladylike examples of the fairer sex. In other words, our young folk are quite different from the popular concept we have of young locals — the young lotharios supposedly brash and grabby, the sweet little misses pushy and demanding. The basis for our complimentary remarks is a recent survey of 500 Hong Kong men and women by Paktor, a leading Asian social networking app, which indicates that the parents of tomorrow are actually rather well-behaved and sensible young people. When it comes to dating, both guys and dolls are pleasantly cautious. For example, before that first date, the done thing nowadays is for the two "punters" to hit the keyboard and exchange a bit of chitchat — plus a head-shot photo. Only after that hurdle has been overcome does the date take place. So how long does it take the modern young miss to decide that the guy hosting their get-together is worth a second date? For 8 percent, it was the first sight of their suitor that made up her mind. Another 8 percent believed that just the first five minutes were conclusive, while 30 percent of those with a faintly more patient nature took half-an-hour to make a decision. So what triggered the gals to say "Yes" to date No 2? As the guy takes his seat and starts a conversation rolling, he is quite unaware that he is being given a rather rigorous examination of his physical attributes. The biggest turn-offs are to have yellow teeth, unruly hair, bad breath or — worst of all — broken and dirty fingernails (a sure sign of a menial occupation). What Missy is hoping for is that he is fresh-faced with an attractive smile, neatly dressed, pleasantly different without being over-bold, and someone with drive, ambition and apparent determination. Things have been going most encouragingly for suitor Ah Kwan until he takes a leap into the unknown and suggests Date No 2. This could lead to a refusal, not because Missy doesn't like him but because — as she tries to explain to him — she has a full-time office job, goes to night school seve迷你倉al evenings a week, and once in her room at her family home in Kowloon Tong always has a large backlog of social media messages she must respond to. This brings up the most significant point about dating in this day and age. Young people spend so much of their spare time chatting on Skype, chasing down apps or keeping in touch with friends via the Internet that they simply don't have much time to go out on dates. And then there's another unknown hurdle facing Ah Kwan — if the little sweetie concerned has been impressed with him at that initial meeting, she's going to pass on all his details to her girlfriends — and, electronically, his good points are going to be picked over by Milady's circle of close female pals, who'll pick him apart like a fried herring on a dinner plate. One point about late teens and early 20s going on "exploratory" dates is that they don't already have steady dates, but are still "opportunity shopping". The survey turned up the interesting fact that both guys and dolls are usually dating at least two members of the opposite sex at the same time. Then there are those reclusive types who stay at home because they fear they're not attractive to the opposite sex, or that they are shy and awkward when making new acquaintances and prefer the solitude of their rooms. Carried too far, such a negative attitude is, for gals, the lonely road to spinsterhood. The solution? If you're — ahem — a trifle chubby, begin a diet and start taking off those extra kilos. If your chin and nose regularly sprout a zit or two, you're eating the wrong stuff — cut out those chocolates and other sweets. Oh, yes, and get a new hairdo, too, or you'll risk being left "on the shelf". Now for the "s" question. At what stage of their relationship should a couple going steady begin indulging in sex? Hats off to our young ladies because that's where they draw a strict line in the sand. Over 30 percent said they would refuse to have sex with their steady within the first 10 dates. More significantly, if not surprisingly, is the survey's conclusion that Hongkongers are more prude than rude, with 48 percent of women and 28 percent of men saying they will never have sex before marriage. The author is Op-Ed editor of China Daily Hong Kong Edition. albertlin@chinadailyhk.com The opinions expressed on this page do not necessarily reflect those of China Daily. Readers' comments are welcome. Please send your e-mail to opinion@chinadailyhk.com. China Daily reserves the right to edit all letters.自存倉